The Do's and Dont's of Grocery Store Etiquette

I work in a grocery store. It's the typical big, open, mostly white, and full of all sorts of people. I think that it's both a blessing and a curse to be able to interact with so many different kinds of people. On one hand, I feel blessed when I meet someone who's cheerful, smiley, and full of encouragement. And on the other hand, I'm extremely tempted to turn in my two week's when someone comes through my line who is demanding, irritated/irritable, and seems confident that I exist solely to make his/her life convenient.

I am trying my best as of late to be more optimistic and cheerful. I always think of my brother (let's call him Hermano, because he's in Mexico right now) and how happy he was all of the time. But I've learned that such sunshine-ish attitudes are difficult to attain sometimes.

The focus of my job is customer service. My official title is "cashier" or "courtesy clerk." To the layman, this means I'm the guy who rings up your foodstuffs, wraps them in anti-environmental plastic, and then demands your money. It's kind of like a really smiley and friendly mafia man. Even though I'm taking your money, I'm determined that you will enjoy the experience.

But I don't think that the employees of the grocery store are the only ones who should be courteous and thoughtful. While it is difficult for some people to understand, cashiers are people, too. And most of the time, they are not responsible for the high price of produce.

So it is in that spirit that I present the 10 Do's and Dont's of Grocery Store Etiquette. I hope that they will provide an insight into the lives of grocery store employees. Or at least, to the grocery store that I work at.

1. The first thing I'd like everyone to know is something that I've said already: that cashiers are not responsible for prices.

The other day a lady came through my line and started yelling at me about the price of oranges. Being my usual pushover self, I played along and tried to tone the conversation down. What I should've done is come right out and say "Look, California froze over. You have a problem with that? Go talk to them. I'm sure they're as thrilled about it as you are." While blatant disrespects are not really the way to go, please take it easy on the cashiers. They're not the ones who stamp the price on the tag.

2. The Express Lane.

All of the grocery stores I've been to have an Express Lane that takes about 15 items or less, for the purpose of allowing those with just a couple of items to get through the checkout experience quickly and leave the store. This is one thing that gets on everybody's nerves. If you have a cart that is stacked to the ceiling, PLEASE do not go through the Express Lane. It's irritating to the cashier, it's irritating to the buyer, and it's irritating to the twenty people in line behind you who now have to wait twenty minutes while you unload your cart. Keep in mind that Express checkers have VERY LITTLE room to maneuver. To stack a huge pile of meat, eggs, and milk in the two-foot space at his/her checkstand is exasperating.

3. If you go through the Express Lane, try to avoid using checks as payment.

Again, the Express Lane is meant to go quickly. In the time it takes to write a check, take out the check, hand the check to the cashier, show your ID to the cashier, have the cashier run the check through the verification system, have the cashier write all sorts of authorization numbers on the check, have the cashier type in the amount of the check, run the check through another verification system, store the check, and have the cashier give you your receipt for the check, the lane on the other side has gone through at least fifteen people. Try to avoid checks on Express.

4. No matter where you are, DO NOT leave your cart just sitting there.

The only places you are allowed to leave a cart are the cart returns in the parking lot or the big cart bay just inside the store. No doubt you've seen the signs around the parking lot saying that the store can't be responsible for damage done by carts not in the return places. That's because the only people who leave carts just sitting in the parking lot are people who are either 1) in a hurry, 2) ignorant of the fact that there is a cart return less than 10 feet away, or 3) irresponsible and lazy. That's just the way it is. Please put your cart away. It makes life easier for everyone.

5. Have your method of payment ready or easily reachable before the time comes to pay.

I don't like to be a Scrooge, but it's annoying when someone comes through my line and takes forever to dig out their credit card or their checkbook or whatever they're using. It's not like we're keeping a clock running on how long the transaction takes, but it's a lot easier for you if you can just pull it out and use it, instead of having to hire an excavation team to find that last nickel so that you can have exact change.

6. Know your limits.

One of the most exasperating thing a customer can do at a grocery store is come to the checkout stand with a cart stuffed with expensive foods and say "I can only go up to $50." What the customers don't realize is that this means that maybe a fourth of the things in their cart will be bought and bagged. The rest will be given to an unhappy bagger who will be asked to go through the entire store and put everything back on the shelves. This can take anywhere from forty minutes to two hours, depending on how well the bagger knows the store. Yes, it's our job and we get paid for it, but believe me when I say that it's not fun.

7. Don't expect the cashiers or baggers to move like lightning.

Cashiers and baggers are normal human beings. They move like human beings. Their motor skills and reflexes are that of normal human beings. Please don't think that we're all ex-Army Rangers. We can only move so fast.

8. The grocery store is not a bank.

I know the temptation is great, but save your request for $35 all in one-dollar bills for the credit union.

9. Don't steal.

This is a general rule for life, but it seems to have great application to a grocery store. A little while ago, I was recruited as a security guard to help catch a couple of guys who were stealing a bunch of batteries. We got them just outside the store, and those will be the most expensive batteries they will ever buy. Know that there are people watching what goes on in the store. There isn't a square foot in the store that they can't see. Make life easier for yourself. If you open a package, take it to the front and pay for it. You'll feel better, and your record will have one less blemish.

10. Treat everyone with respect.

A grocery store is a collection of ordinary people who are trying to give you a convenient and cheerful way to obtain food. Everyone works to make the environment conducive to that feeling. And don't forget that your fellow shoppers are also trying to have a good experience. To sum it up, be thoughtful for everybody.

I hope that these tips have provided you with some measure of insight into the world of the grocery store employee. I love my job, even if people get on my nerves sometimes.

But isn't that what life's all about? Tolerance?